BKaF - Brad Kovach and Friends

Brad is a pretty awesome dude, and he’s been gracious enough to allow me to write on his spiffy (newly redesigned) website. I have been slacking as of late, so I’ve decided to step it up a bit and provide him (and you) with more content.

I present to you, Cooking with Thomas, a once-weekly (on Sunday) culinary tour de force! Consider me to be your tour guide. But, in all seriousness, I am not the Iron Chef, Julia Child, or even Rachael Ray. I am just a humble 18-year-old, sharing what little knowledge I have in the realm of cooking. So, buckle your seat-belt! Yes, you too. And jump on the roller coaster that is Cooking with Thomas!

This week: CELERY!

As teenagers, our diet mainly consists of peanut butter, potato chips, and if you’re me, things scraped from the bottom of your shoe. I’m sure that when you see the word celery, you’ll stop reading this article. But, for the brave few who stayed to hear me out (and laugh), I say to you that celery can be delicious! That’s right, your world was just rocked!

A little background on everyone’s least favorite vegetable. It’s long, greenish-white, and it has the consistency of a chunk of rebar dipped in barbecue sauce. Also, something few people know: Celery burns calories! But before you maniacs go and start chowing down on celery in the hopes of becoming SexyMcSlimPants, know that a stick burns like 6 calories, not the 3,500 you need to lose a pound of fat. Don’t worry though, the things I will teach you today will make celery a tasty part of your high-fat diet!

So, Without further ado, step 1:

Step 1: Gather the ingredients: celery (fresh, long stalks), cream cheese, peanut butter, raisins (if you hate yourself), and a cheese stick (or any other type of cheese, cheese sticks work best though).

Step 2: Rinse the celery off. Then chop off the huge nasty end and if there’s gunk on the front, chop that off too.

Step 3: Chop that naughty celery into three evenly-sized pieces. Or three not-so-evenly sized, whatever.

Step 4: Take the first peice, and spread some cream cheese on that bad boy! Chow down on it, like my mama is in the picture. This is a silky rich flavor.

Step 5: Grab the peanut butter and your second piece of celery!

Step 6: Spread the PB all over the second piece of celery. If you want to go the ants-on-the-log route, throw some raisins on top of the peanut butter. Eat it, enjoy the sticky sweet of the peanut butta’.

Step 7: Take your last piece of celery, and your cheese stick, and cut the cheese stick to the length of the celery. Eat the nubbin’.

Step 8: Nestle the cheese stick into the celery. It fits perfectly! Enjoy the cheesy goodness.

Bonus Step: If you’re feeling particularily daring, put all of it on one piece of celery. Oh yeah.

So, I hope you enjoyed this simple, yet yummalicious snack. It is probably one of the more complex foods you will ever make. Tune in next week for my next feat: grilled chicken!

-Tom

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