The Moron Cometh
The title says it all.
Hello!
Hello, my name is Thomas Wells.
I am 6’2″, have red hair, and have a terrible sense of humor.
That was a joke. Never mind.
Mr. Kovach has graciously given me the opportunity to “blog” on his website. I hope to take advantage of this—if you know what I mean.
Geez. Tough crowd.
So, without further ado, I’m going to talk about something.
I lead a pathetic, boring life.
No, really, I do. Seriously, without high school, I would totally be that guy who lives in his parent’s basement, eating Oreos with cheese, and cultivating a large beard. My daily schedule is about as exciting as a bowl of Grits.
Think I’m exaggerating? I’ll give you an example of a typical day.
- Wake up in the morning. Cry. Take shower. Put on clothes. Eat cheerios. Drive to school.
- Have a wild day of partying at SVHS.
- If I don’t have drama or dance or speech, I come home.
- At home, I engage in not-so-witty banter with my father.
- Either play video games, eat, read, or sit and watch 24. Occasionally I go play racquetball or hockey.
- Go to sleep.
- (optional bonus step) A so-called friend comes to my house and plays a prank on me, causing me to cry or pee my pants.
This continues till the weekend, which is typically steps 4-7.
Well, after reading the list I just typed, I realized that my life was even more pathetic than I thought it was.
But, why am happy? Why am I not totally depressed, groping for the Häagen-Dazs or comfort?
Hold on. Dad’s calling me. He wants me to come watch 24.
Life is good.
Some woman is going to be very happy someday.
-Tom
About Thomas
Thomas Wells came in to the world on December 7, 1989, covered in goobers and various other slimy things. Not much has changed since then. When he grows up, he wants to write comic books, and never do any real work.
5 Responses to “The Moron Cometh”
Hannah Hokanson
On December 16th, 2007
8:04 pm
I still can’t believe I voted for him…
David Clark
On December 17th, 2007
1:25 pm
Don’t be depressed Thomas your not the only loser here
Thomas
On December 17th, 2007
8:38 pm
DAA-VIID! DAA-VID CLARK!
Jess to the Tizzle
On December 17th, 2007
9:38 pm
my favorite part was the mental image of a guy with cheesy oreos in his beard.
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Brad Kovach and friends is a website made by friends for the world's enjoyment. We like computers, art, having fun, and sharing! We try to keep things G-rated, but we're all adults–so take that for what it's worth. This page took 27 queries and 1.053 seconds of computer labor to produce.
Brad Kovach
On December 16th, 2007
2:28 pm
You also like eating the Oreos with the cheese? ZOMG YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND. Happy first article! I’m glad you’re here to help.