BKaF – Brad Kovach and Friends

1. She’s dumb as a brick – A few weeks ago, I had the misfortune of viewing ET: Entertainment Tonight. Katie Holmes was being interviewed about her relationship with Tom Cruise. I heard slowly rattle off a string of garbage involving words she clearly didn’t understand. One such word was “determinism” which doesn’t really sound like a word, but is an idea that rejects the notion of free will. Tom Cruise has determinism! Yay!
2. He’s dumb as a brick – Not only did he barely pass high school, but he can’t read, and he’s a terrible actor. I couldn’t quit laughing when I watched many of his movies, such as: Mission Impossible I and II, and Minority Report. The only good acting he’s done was as Austin Powers in the intro to Austin Powers in Goldmember.
3. They’d have the dumbest kids ever – Gorgeous kids: Yes. Intelligent Kids: NO! Their kids probably couldnt read because Tom can’t. (imagine Katie teaching the kids AND Tom to read), they would be raised to have “determinism,” and they’d have absolutely no friends because they can’t read. But like that matters. Self worth is entirely measured upon looks anyway.
4. Katie Holmes would become fat – As soon as women start having kids, they get all chunky. You think I lie! Women naturally start gaining weight when they have kids as part of their maternal instincts. She is waaay too hot to get married.

I make a lot of sense, don’t I? Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes should NOT get married. Maybe she’ll pull a JLo and divorce him for no reason. I hope so.

Peace out!

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